settle for 2nd best? NEVER.

Sometimes, when we are too accustomed to a  certain "thing", it gets glued into our personality. and it becomes almost inseparable from us. that might be a positive thing for some, and sometimes it might be a negative one. it depends. so how do we know whether you're stuck with that "thing" just because you really need it or is it just because you've grown too accustomed to it? well, i'd say to be true to your heart, then.

deep down inside, we know that we deserve better. but what stops us from moving on is just fear. the fear of not knowing what the future holds. the fear of risking it all. but what gains come without risks? therefore, in order to achieve greater happiness, greater risks must be accommodated. we should never ever force ourselves to be contented and settle for second best. Accept ONLY the best! 
We only get to live once, so don't waste life!

therefore, i have come to a conclusion, (after completing this blog) :  i'll take the risk. 

i know that deep down in my heart, it is the right decision. and so i shall PERSEVERE. 

i MUST if i ever want to be happy.

i know i shall find the right "thing" soon enough. :)

"Life is too short to be small." - Benjamin Disraeli

graduation? oh shit.

it's already the 4th week into the sem. Time flies, and yet it felt like it was just last week that i came back to Singapore after the hols. Reality FINALLY hit me. I'll be graduating bloody soon, in roughly 10 weeks!! ZOMG!! I've always been complaining about all the shit NUS has thrown at me, and how crappy it is to have to go through all their brain-raping exams.

however, this sem, i choose to complain no more. It is, after all, the final straw. And although i've always thought that working life would be a gazillion times better than studying, the finality of graduating has smacked me hard in the face. There won't be any turning back now, as much as i'd like to. And as much as i hate growing up, my body oxidizes  every single time i breathe. (damn bo pian lo!) When i start my career, playing truant (just because i had a late night out with friends) just won't do anymore. i will be forced to conform to the monotonous routine of working life. and yes,  ITTTT IZZZZZZ DEPREZZZZINNNGGGG!

but life goes on. i'm been training myself nowadays to think positively, and lately, it's been easier for me to focus on the more positive side of things.  it also makes me a much happier person, too. at the moment, i'm just living my uni life to its fullest. i plan to mug damn hard, and also party hard too. :) am looking forward to spending as much time with my uni mates as possible before i grad. i am ABSOLUTELY certain that i will be missing just about everything about nus when it's over. 

most of my friends will be graduating this semester. i wish all of you the very best and may you be blessed with wisdom to transition into the next chapter of your life.  *do pray for me too!*

having loads of stuff on my mind nowadays, and i thought that it would help me to just crap it out here. altho hardly anybody reads this shit anyways. hehh

i promise to love you more if you visit frequently. :)) *mwahs*

When you're losing your sanity and patience...

do remember...

BY PERSEVERANCE, THE SNAIL REACHED THE ARK.

 

Janice's 2010 hair colour shall be...

Well, as most of my friends would know...i'm a total sucker for colored hair. haha my hair has not been fully black ever since.... mmmmmmmz..... i graduated from high school. so yeah. i usually have my hair done both in the middle and the end of the year. just in time for Christmas and CNY. :)

the colours i've tried on before were dark brunette, strawberry blonde, burgundy, light brown, (there's actually more, but i just can't recall them atm) and most recently, my color is like a mix between brown and orangy red (faded quite a lil after about 2 months).

well, a lightbulb suddenly flashed in my puny brain earlier, while i was muggin for blardy Game Theory. i thought, since this is my final year, and i absolutely CAN'T have my mane brandishing outrageous colors when i start working next year, i might as well go all out now and try the colours i've always wanted ! what do you think about this?

hahaha. a lil OVER-THE-TOP i know, but my first impression of it was that the color was pretty (i think the girl's also quite chio), but a lil too "ganas" for me, i guess. haha imagine me having those outrageous colors, strolling down orchard road with my coach/lv bag. surely ppl will think my bags are fake lorh. hahaha can't take the risk sia. or stepping into church and attending 'holy communion'. wah....super GG-fied. but yeah, i'm still hoping to have something similar to this... with the "ganas-ness"  set a few notches down.whee!

anyways, can't imagine what jinshan's parents will think if they see me with these colors on my head. haha fyi, they're rather conservative and not used to my eccentric nature just as yet. my parents on the other hand knows how crazy and adventurous a drama queen i've always been, so i doubt they'd be any surprised. but i guess Mom will be a little apprehensive tho, and try to talk me out of it. Oohh~! and i sooo can't wait to see baby Josh's reaction when he sees me. hahaha he'll surely be damn shocked and confused. poor boy. lolz.

i'm not so keen on changing my base colour just as yet, coz it's still "usable"...so i'm planning to just add streaks of highlight on my hair. hopefully it'll turn out alright! *fingers crossed*

sigh...it's been so much fun thinking about what i'm gonna do first thing the hols start, but now that i think about the dreaded finals coming up next week, that totally dampened my spirits like by 70%. arghhhhhhhhh!

alright, i gtg back to muggin. shall keep you all posted soon! :)) check out my blog for my latest hair colour in 2-3 weeks time! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS~!

One wistful Thursday..

A dedication to a friend who was never meant to be.

I will never be able to think of you
Without sorrow in my heart
But deep down inside
We have never been apart.

I don’t know if you will ever forgive me
All I can do is wait and see
For the moment that my Earthly life ends
And you will finally see me

Are you going to approach me with gladness?
Or will hate be in your heart?
I would not blame you
If you had no forgiveness to impart

If I could trade places with you
I would do it in a second
But at this point you might be the lucky one
Because with God you are present.

i'm a virgin-clubber, NO MORE!

haha yeah, as the title reads, i finally got the chance to experience clubbing when Crossfusion performed in PURE today (umm well, technically it was yesterday night). I know it's nothing major, but stilll... it's really like ZOMG for me. hahaa and yeah, i tend to get excited over the puniest things. :)

okie, as i was saying, i only found out about the gig yesterday (as in yesterday yesterday), and yeah, i was still contemplating whether to go or not to go...since most of my friends are not into this clubbing fad, and i basically thought that i would be left all alone if i went. so i called up my dearest cousin Midori  (who's a seasoned clubber) to tag along with me. and she AGREED! so sweet of her... XOXO

they were scheduled to play at about 10pm, so i headed there straight after church practice. on my way there, Shan called up to say that they were starting already, so i kind of panicked as i didn't really know exactly where it was or how i was to get in. and so i called my "qooo" cousin Shaun, who's spinning there. Appreciated it when i saw him walking out into the streets to "collect" his somewhat lost and blur cousin. :")

And then he brought me upstairs where they were playing. i was surprised to see quite a number of my old friends there. was OVERJOYED actually. :) anyways, to me the band sounded great (as always). everything was cool. after their performance, shan's friend Harvin @ DJ Tres, played some really "boomzy" (from Ris Low's dictionary) but booooming music... haha i found it a little hard to adjust, as i swear i could feel my heart trying to jump out from my chest (past the many layers of fats) whenever i heard the bass parts.
 

                                     it feels good to club with your cousins. :)

to stuff things into a nutshell, i think it has been one helluva memorable experience for me, shared with close friends (and my dear cousins). however, i don't think it would be a place i'd frequent anytime soon, as most of the time we could not hear what the other person was saying, altho i swear i was shouting at the top of my lungs, and according to my dear neighbour, i have the LOUDEST voice ever. i was merely nodding my head and smilling to pretend i understood.. (i'm sorry guys, but i swear u all were doing the exact same thing too!). haha i guess i'm the type of person who would rather spend my weekend nights at a quiet cafe catching up on juicy gossips with my fellow girlfriends. and i have concluded that a club is a place for  dudes to notice, and babes to be noticed. 

chillin' out with friends.

(Left to right: aaron, me, shan, darryl, terrence, naj)

i drove home with my side screens wound down completely. really had to blow off the damned ciggy smell off my hair and clothes. damnit. why can't melaka adopt the non-smoking policy in clubs like in singapore?? ugh. what would my poor parents think if they smelled me that night? i'm sure my mom would not let me off the hook in one piece. (dad, if you're reading this, don't worry k...i just went there and sat down to listen to the band. didn't do anything else except drink Coca Cola which Midori treated me to.)  (P/S: and don't tell mom!) :P


btw, i had this funny conversation with Terrence(the cool and handsome Baba who "joget-ed" in PURE with some strange chicks) earlier on:

....
Me: yeah, it's my first time here. 
Terrence: *shocked face* seriously?!!??!
Me: umm...my first time clubbing actually... :S
Terrence: *facial expression you give when about to die from strangulation* (haha, nola, just kidding. but he was even more shocked than before) wow, you so holy one arh??!
Me: urmmm....hahaaa *sheepishly feeling like an outdated 100-yr-old grandmother*
Terrence: u must be the very *hand gestures showing the flipping of pages* type...
Me: (thinking: sigh...i must really shake off this nerdish image of mine)